은혜기도원 기도산에 있는 기도굴들

Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death (2)

                                                                                    Soo Yong Kim

    After the wild fires were brought under control, and several days had passed, most of the church members were exhausted mentally and physically. One day, a deaconess called me and said that she was quite anxious to attend a revival meeting being held at the Grace want to attend a revival meeting at the Grace Retreat Center in the mountains. She went on to say that God had preserved her house in spite of violent wild fires, and she wanted to give thanks to God.

   She asked me to attend the revival meeting together. She didn’t know how to get there. I accepted her request. First of all, I had to take care of my household chores and I told her I could go with her in the afternoon. I didn’t feel comfortable while I was driving after sunset. It took almost two hours to get there.

   As I was approaching The Retreat Center, I couldn’t find the entrance because the road was under construction. I couldn’t figure out where I should drive, which was further complicated because it was dark. There was no traffic and no pedestrians at all.

   I kept driving back and forth to find the entrance. I thought I had come to a dead end. I was stranded and felt like crying. After a last, desperate attempt, I found a narrow path. It was only our option. It was our only option. I took that path risking our safety because I saw no other way out of our dilemma.

   I thought I could make a U-Turn if I had gone the wrong way. I was mistaken and shocked when I realized that I had driven down a forest trail with no way to turn around. I kept driving forward. There were a lot of rocks, and the path was so bumpy that my car was shaking and jumping and dancing. I felt as if there was an earthquake.  I regretted my reckless decision, but it was too late. Finally, I had to pray to God for help. I kept on driving, and my car got stuck in a creek. With the mountain looming in front us, we left the car standing and started walking ahead hand in hand. We got out of the car and left it alone and started walking forward hand in hand. We were chilled to the bone. I could see a light twinkling like a morning star. If we were able to reach it, we might meet people. We felt a sense of relief that we would see people sooner or later.

   We kept climbing to the top of the mountain. Right away, we stopped walking because there were big barbed wire-entanglements all the way up and down. When I look back around, we could see freeways full of lit head-lights. We breathed a sigh of relief. My clothes were wet from sweat. Maybe, if we descended the mountain, we could find an exit from the mountain and an entrance to the retreat center easily.

   When we arrived at the foot of the mountains, there was no exit because we were surrounded with the wire-entanglements. Fence was too high to jump over and the barbs were dangerous. We were overwhelmed by our circumstances and overcome with a feeling of despair. We sat down on the weeds and kept praying to God for help. We decided to take off our coats and put them on the barbs of the fence. We climbed the fence over and at last, we made it.

   I thought of the numerous brave warriors in the Bible, which gave me courage to overcome all difficulties. We felt as if we had been discharged from the prison. We felt relieved and free. Right away, I recalled the movie Pappillon, which made such an impression on me that I continue to cherish it this day.

   Pappillon starred as a convicted prisoner named Henri Charriere (Steve McQueen), also known as “Pappillon” due to his butterfly chest tattoo. Despite the harshness of solitary confinement, brutal conditions and constant threats of betrayal, Pappillon leads a desperate escape off the island. In the end, he frees himself from his restraints. I understand how Pappillon must have felt after he escaped the island. I felt as if I were Pappillon.

   It was a frightening experience when I went astray in the mountains. I felt pain as if I had undergone all sorts of hardships for many years. After I composed myself and looked around to find the entrance path to Grace Retreat Center, I found a road and a glimmer from the village somewhere. We kept walking to find the retreat center. Several cars passed by, and I tried to stop them to ask whether we took the right road or not. One driver stopped driving and answered that we were going in the wrong direction and should turn around.

   Thanks to the driver, we found the right way to go. We had wandering around on the mountain for almost two hours before we found the retreat center. As we were approaching the retreat center, we could hear songs of praise in unison. In the pitch-black night, walking in the forest without a light or a lamp was a horror under the big trees. A cold shiver ran down my spine.

   We cried out to God, “Oh our Heavenly Father be with us and protect us from wild animals, gangsters and bandits”. After our prayer, we were composed and filled with peace from God. As soon as we reached the church in the retreat center, we opened the back door of the church silently and plopped down on the cushions on the floor (there were no chairs). I began weeping with thanks for God’s deliverance from our predicament. We could worship God together with the other christians.

   After the worship service, I asked an usher why there was no sign for the retreat center and explained everything we went through in the forest and mountain. He apologized for his negligence. I told him I had left my car on the mountain and it needed to be towed. He told me that a young man could tow it at dawn. All night long, I slept restlessly. I prayed to God to keep my car from theft.

   In the morning, a young man offered to drive me in his truck to get my car from the creek. On the way, his truck got stuck somewhere in the mountain. All of a sudden, we could hear a siren from a Highway Patrol car which was pursuing our truck. A helicopter was whirling above us. He shouted out. “Hold up!” with pointed rifle. It was really a scary scene. I was frightened out of my senses. I was trembling and kept silent.

   I remembered the Bible, Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I calmed down and I kept my cool. The words of God comforted me. The patrolman asked us why we were driving on that mountain trail. The truck driver explained everything un detail and what happened to my car. My car had to be towed and his truck as well.

   The police might have thought that we were related to Islamic terrorists or that we were on the mountain to set a fire. We could tow our cars with their help. My car had some scratches on the body, but there was no major damage. I gave thanks to God from the bottom of my heart.

   I recited aloud Palms 23:1-6, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quite waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

   On my way home, I felt very sorry for my friend who had suffered from wildfires the night before and we lost our way on the mountain. I apologized to her for what I had not made the right decision. However, after all, we found Grace Retreat Center and had a wonderful time of worship and filled with the Holy Spirit. While driving, we sang hymns and praises. We were in high spirits. I looked around at the mountain and forest and they looked so beautiful with all foliage on the trees.

    I could not believe that we got lost on the mountain and we were in such a desperate plight. It was a nightmare. I can’t forget what I suffered on that night. If we kept climbing the mountain, we might have frozen to death like a leopard on the mountain of Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Our refined faith through the blazing furnace shines like fine gold now.

  I gave thanks to God for everything and in everything! Hallelujah!

*This essay was awarded the first prize in the Bible Essay competion by Korean Creation Literation Newspaper in 2012 in Korea